F! R! E! E!
It's time for my biggest announcement
yet:
I QUIT!!!!!!!!!
Three weeks ago I gave notice to my
employer. Saturday was my last shift as an RN. Oh, I will keep my
license up, for sure. But I won't be a dialysis nurse for the time
being.
Inevitably when I tell someone I quit
working, they ask “What are you going to do now? Work at a chronic
clinic? You got another gig?” “Nope,” I tell them with a grin
on my face. “I'm going to be a mom for a while.”
While having a nanny/child in daycare
is possible, and we certainly make more money with two incomes, we
learned that it's not the lifestyle we want. Ben and I decided it is
very important to us that we have a parent in the home. Not only to
raise our child/ren but to be the head of household and keep our
family running. Lots of things have fallen through the cracks with
us both working. We have been feeling like we are barely making it
through each week since Ben went back to work in September.
Not only is it hard with both parents
working, MY job in particular was hard. I was exhausted after every
shift. We never knew how long I would have to work. I was on call
more days than not, plus callback increased frequency from 33% two
years ago to 75% now (I tracked it). Ben could never commit to
activities with friends because my job controlled our life. I feel
like I have been living with a heavy net over my head.
Plus the job has gotten out of control
with work or duties in addition to my shifts: daily emails about
apheresis treatments and patients for the next day, classes required
for each hospital every time they roll out a new product or policy,
maintaining personnel records at every hospital as well as our own
company, staff meetings, weekly emails extolling all the things we
are doing wrong, etc. It felt like I never had a day off. Even if
none of the above applied, I'd be trying to gather my strength to
make it through the next marathon day.
The negative feedback was continuous,
even if it is aimed at others who are doing things wrong (I freely
brag that I am quite obsessed with following policy and
documentation, so rarely did these emails apply to me). Morale was
low. Every aspect of our work has become more complicated over the
last few years. Chloramine checks went from 10 seconds three times a
day to 18 minutes 5 times a day. Jugs went from bleaching weekly to
bleaching daily. RO water checks doubled in frequency on portable
runs. We triple document some charting at every hospital. We record
on/off times SIX times for each treatment. The daily To-Do list has
doubled in length. Etc etc etc. It's ridiculous really.
The work itself is fine. I like being
a procedure nurse. I'm really really good at what I do. I will miss
that part of it, and miss my co-workers too. I will miss that proud
feeling that swells when I read
stuff like this.
But when I faced the choice to go
part-time I declined. Less hours wouldn't mean less stress. All of
the above would continue but with a lesser paycheck. No, I wanted a
clean break. I'm burnt out.
Sure, I might go back to dialysis some
day, or certainly another nursing job. I'm well trained and had a
fantastic (nearly) four years. But for the next few years, I'm going
to be a mom for reals.
. . . .
Except for my new work-at-home gig for
The Retina Center, because a little pocket money and insurance
assistance is still welcome. But working for my parents at home is a
LOT different than the above. So I have been loudly singing in my
head all day:
[PSEUDOLUS]
Oh, what a word!
Oh,
what a word!
Say it again.
[HERO]
Free!
[PSEUDOLUS]
I
often thought,
I often dreamed how it would be--
And yet I
never thought I'd be--
Once again.
[HERO]
Free!
